In two weeks, three separate events came into my life to cause me to pause and reflect about myself and my life. My reflections began when I met and heard Brene Brown, a vulnerability and shame researcher from the University of Texas, speak at an event. Later that week I listened to a mother's tearful struggle with her daughter coming out. And recently I watched an emotional eulogy on YouTube given by Kevin Costner at Whitney Houston's funeral.
In all cases, what I took away from these seemingly random events was how much I and others battle feeling worthy. Whitney, with all her beauty and talent, could not overcome her battle. Most parents and LGBT youth face this conflict when they have to come out to themselves and others. And I know I battle my feelings of inadequacy every day, having to remind myself that no matter what happens today, I am a good mother, wife and human being. Can I be better . . . Yes . . . but for today I was the best I could be.
Brene Brown shared if we all just said "I am enough" and believed it with our whole heart, then we would embark on a journey that was filled with more love, joy and belonging. This is not to say that we can't strive to achieve higher goals and dreams. That is part of life as well. But can we accept that at this very moment we are enough, so our sense of worthiness will allow us to be happy in the present, appreciating all that we are and all the we have.
So today, no matter how many things get checked off my neverending list of "Things to Do", no matter how much I weigh when I get on the scale or how many more age spots appear on my face when I look in the mirror, I will tell myself I am enough. And if the little voice inside my head, says "No, you are not," I will dig deep into my courage and my compassionate heart and boldly answer, "Yes I am . . . ."