Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I Want to Be a Buffalo

Me and my buffalo
My best friend, Joan, shared this story with me.  And it has stuck and emerged as an image that I want to always remember. . . .
In a blizzard, cows are so frozen in fear, they move away from the blizzard, until they are pushed against a fence and they eventually die.  Fear has caused them to retreat, until they can no longer move back further and then the blizzard covers them with snow .  .  . they freeze to death.
A buffalo sees a blizzard and does not retreat, but moves into the unknown, persevering through the storm.  As a result, the buffalo either moves through the blizzard or continues to push through adversity and survives.
It reminds me of when I am faced with fear, I want to withdraw and often allow the fear I am facing to push me back.  But when I do that the problem doesn’t go away . . . it persists and after a while something inside of me begins to die.  It might be the respect I have for myself, it might be the courage I so often want to bring out or it might be the worthiness I feel for myself to continue on when I don’t know the final result.
But I want to be a buffalo.  I want to use my courageous heart to move into the unknown and continue to persevere.  I want to believe that I deserve to move through adversity and reach my intended goal, because I am capable, strong enough, and believe in possibilities. 
Everything I have accomplished in life has been the result of my belief in what is possible, my vision of the world I want to live in, and the world I want to create for my children and all those in the LGBT community.  There is an old song from one of my favorite movies, It’s a Wonderful Life.  In it Jimmy Stewart sings, “Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight, won’t you come out tonight, won’t you come out tonight, Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon.”  I think this will be my new theme song . . . .